Silent Participation

Despite my lack of posting this month, I have been following our idea for Meditation March. I have continued to read my book and/or meditate on a close to daily basis. Sometimes my shifts at work go from 9a-11p or 10a-11p, and on these days, I find it very difficult to stay awake at night to meditate or read. However, otherwise, I have made a conscious effort to follow through.

I think I am motivated because I have read a multitude of scientific studies that show that meditation is beneficial to one's health and well-being, and I know I can only benefit if I put in the time and effort. For example, there is this article from USA Today which highlights the benefits: Mindfulness Meditation Being Used in Hospitals and Schools. And there is this article from UCLA: Mindfuless Reduces Stress, Promotes Resilience. Additionally, the book I have came with a CD, which has guided practices, so I do not feel totally lost. I have downloaded the tracks to my iPod, which provides flexibility.

At work I deal with girls who have some really troubling mental health challenges. So often I think to myself how great it would be if they were able to slow themselves down before they acted on their thoughts or feelings, and although I try so hard not to bring work feelings home with me, it's much easier said than done some days. I usually do not get home until 11:30 pm or later, and sometimes I find it tough to wind down after a crazy night. Meditation can be helpful to gather my thoughts and settle for bed, because usually I do not get to sleep until after 1 am on nights I have worked. Getting to bed later means I wake up later, and I hate to waste the next day! Mindfulness meditation is a practice which can enable individuals to strengthen their minds and bodies against mental illness, so I see this month as a preventable practice as well.

I have not been blogging about my experiences, in part because I feel like it is difficult to put mindfulness meditation and practice into words. I definitely do not feel "enlightened" or anything along those lines, but I believe that meditation could be beneficial with consistent and structured practice. It's worth a shot, if nothing else.

Something I have found useful is to think about the five senses. I randomly ask myself what do I see, hear, smell, taste and touch in a given moment. It's pretty crazy how much we just go about our daily lives and never stop to appreciate how amazing our bodies and minds can be. I think it is incredible that we are living beings with so much talent and intelligence, but we rarely take the time to consider these attributes. Maybe meditation can put us into greater sync with our mind as to how the world actually works and not how we perceive things to be? I'm not sure, but I will continue trying with this meditation gig.

I recently re-discovered StumbleUpon. It is such a genius invention. I found these useful websites in relation to meditation: Free Audio Meditations and Sounds to Promote Sleep and Relaxation

Easy Way Out

So surprise surprise, I also suck at meditation. And sadly enough that is probably not much of a surprise to most, or anyone that knows me beyond a first name. My first few days of waking up early to sit in silence succumbed to extra sleep nearly as quickly as it started. I have not yet looked into the flame of a candle or chanted any relaxation mantras. While I did not stick to my idea of a set amount of time (complete with my alarm clock), I have managed to sweak by with some ideas/stories/successes of meditation.

Normally I steer clear of gyms and exercise in general...I typically break out in hives. And while I did just join a gym, I have yet to go for the month of March (what a waste of money). So anything related with working out usually elicits a frown. The idea of yoga especially so, because you can't talk and you don't even break a sweat to feel like to achieved something. But I have done yoga at work twice this month! Earth-shattering -- I know. I have relaxed and left the stress outside the room for the half hour. While I do not notice a long lasting change, it has not been a horrible experience. And of course I get to be the butt of some jokes at work.

What is one thing girls love a lot? (Mind out of gutter please) Massages. Well since I am your most untypical girl, it should not be a shock that I have never had a professional massage. I just have always felt they were a waste of money. Boy was I wrong. I had one this week and it was one of the most relaxing experiences ever. I have been sold. I know this is the easy way out to count this as meditation, but give me a little break?

The past week, I have had the privilege of being in Mexico City with a group of friends, painting and working in an orphanage. I love Mexico City so much (I may start referring to it as my second home), and this week I got to experience something I hadn't the last time. We went to the Aztec pyramids and climbed to the top. I didn't get too much alone time as I was with a bunch of loud people, but I did get some time to marvel in the beauty while at the top. In between gasps for breath, I was able to see for miles and miles from top of the ancient pyramid. Something about being that high and seeing for so far just makes me feel closer to that which is bigger than life. I felt so connected to something bigger- what a way to put life into perspective.

I'm pretty sure I will not get to climb another Pyramid of the Sun this month, but I am going to morph my meditation into a time of introspection. A time to sit and reflect, journal, and pray.

Ignore the Madness...

As I mentioned, I work in a mental health facility with teenage girls. My days at work are incredibly hectic and very stressful. When I talked with a friend last month about ideas for this month's challenge, she suggested meditation. I think meditation has some strange stigma...I know initially the image of some monk sitting Indian style with his hands on his knees humming comes to mind. I took a Mindfulness Meditation class my final semester in college. Admittedly, I did not meditate nearly as much as I was supposed to outside of the class, but I enjoyed it, and it certainly opened the door for further exploration. Some of my girls at work use meditation as their "self-control strategy", which is meant to help them when they feel an adverse emotion. I know that meditation can have awesome effects, and I am more than willing to give it a try. Unlike our failure of artisans last month, I think this month could have a very positive effect on my life, but I have to stick to it. After our February failure, I feel that I need to recommit to this idea, so I'm going to try much harder this March.

Yesterday, I tried to find some books about meditation at my local library. I could not find any with guided CDs that were available. But I saved a book I used in the meditation class because of my interest in mental health issues and psychology in general. Last night I took some time to read the introduction of The Mindful Way Through Depression, which I never did while in my actual class. The introduction talks about using meditation to cultivate patience and acceptance of one's thoughts and feelings. In the class, the professor used to have us imagine our thoughts and feelings as leaves floating down a river. We did not have to catch those leaves and examine them, we could just let them float by. It reminds me of the concept of "This, too, shall pass" when facing something unpleasant in life. Meditation is actually used as a medical intervention in the form of MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction) for pain, chronic illness and stress. Research has shown that meditation can change the pattern of brain activity, too.

I'm not entirely sure how I want to structure this month of meditation. At the very least, I want to read this book in full, as I never did before. I think I will have to start meditation on some sort of schedule, too.

In the meantime, on the last day of our meditation class, our professor sent us the following email. I think the story that is mentioned highlights the basic nature of meditation...

When Jack Kornfield (an American Psychologist who spent a lot of time in Southeast Asia) was returning to America, he met with an elderly monk who had been living in the US and asked him if he had any advice for him as he came back to the West. "Only one thing, said the monk. When your running to catch the subway and you see it leaving without you, don't panic, just remember, There's always another train." It took me a while to appreciate how applicable this comment was to emotional situations that seemed to bear no resemblance to catching a train. The monk did not suggest indifference to the subway leaving the station, but he pointed to where control is possible. "Don't panic and go running after it, he suggested. Rather than letting disappointment turn into anxiety or self-pity, learn to see the disappointment clearly while restraining the action. Stay with the original feeling longer. Cultivate patience." "There's always another train," became a metaphor for me for how resistant I was to enduring frustration...I found that I did not have to go running after every lost opportunity. In fact, I discovered an important, if latent, capacity. I could wait.

Meditation March

So there it is- I gave it away right off the bat. We are doing meditation for the month of March. While some may think this is boring and will not elicit many funny blogs- I will make it my month goal to prove you wrong (so I don't want to hear it- haters). So I have been meditating for the past 3 mornings, for 10 minutes a morning. I actually despise waking up 10 minutes earlier at this point, but hopefully once I find the benefits of meditating I will gladly wake up.

By meditating, I don't really know what that means yet. I sit in one room of the house, where the door actually shuts, so Mannie does not come and drool on me (she pees on JMo and drools on me- I guess I got the better end). I just set my alarm for 10 minutes and sit there with my eyes closed. Today I actually focused on breathing in and out (tough I know) and one sentence. When the alarm when off and scared me to death, I realized I was thinking about something completely different. At least on Day 3 I was thinking about something when the alarm went off instead of thinking I fell asleep. Maybe I will get the hang of meditation.